Interrupt

Dear Spotify¹,

Every time you interrupt me I get closer to firing you.

I hired you to do one job. Do the job. I do not care if you can do other jobs; I didn't hire you for those.

I do not need to be shown how to tell you to do your job. It should be obvious. If it is not obvious, that is likely a defect on your part. If it ever changes, that is also a defect on your part. If it cannot be made to be obvious, I will read the manual. (There had better be a manual).

I will do that on my schedule, not yours.

Yes, you may have recently learned to do a new thing (most likely at the cost of becoming slower, more garish, and more invasive). I'm sure that's very nice for you. I cannot overemphasise the extent to which I do not care. I did not hire you to do that thing.

If I ever need that thing done, I will look around for something that can do it. That may well be you.

I will do that on my schedule, not yours.

Perhaps you have ideas about a Great New Thing I'd like, or a way in which I can do my job better. I'm sure they're very important. Put them in a file. I will review them if doing so is ever the most useful thing I can be doing.

I will do that on my schedule, not yours.

Do not interrupt me.

I will not tell you again.

²

---

Footnotes

1. (Also applies to every other app that pops 23 "helpful" messages onto the screen while I'm trying to get something done.) ↩

2. Obviously, none of this applies to people. Despite AI trying to blur the boundaries, I maintain an absolutely rigorous distinction. People are people, tools are tools. ↩